We try to attack these with a positive attitude, but sometimes it’s just a no.
Monday morning comes and your alarm is screeching. You open your eyes feeling like the kind of person that would name their cat Lucifer.
Particularly, Lady Tremaine, post step-child-marries-prince, when she wakes up and realizes no one is bringing her breakfast in bed. You sit there for a moment and realize that you truly don’t know what you have until it’s gone, like yesterday morning.
Regardless, you get up and start the day…someone has to pay for Lucifer’s cat food after all.
You get in your car and everyone seems to still be sleeping. Hello? This is the LEFT lane? For FAST cars?
Despite the odds, you arrive on time and surprise all your peers. You’re channeling your inner Shan Yu because an avalanche of cars on the freeway trying to keep you from your destination is the same as being steam rolled by an avalanche on your way to destroy China, right? Ta-may-toes, ta-mah-toes.
People keep trying to tell you about things they did over the weekend…like their sister-in-law’s nephews birthday party and you’re trying very hard to be into it when you’re not.
like their battle with the stomach flu complete with graphic descriptions
like what went down at a party on Saturday. Wait…you actually know all of the people in this story and should’ve been invited…
Finally…your one reprieve…lunch. By this time you don’t care if your apple is poisoned…actually at this point you’re pretty sure you’d prefer it.
Why do important things always have to be done on a Monday? All you wanted was to simply ease into the week. At least Hades had minions to help him…however ineffective they were.
You’re trying very hard to get things done but it feels like the universe is working against you. Almost like when you dedicate your entire life to your job and then your boss leaves everything to the cat.
That one thing you’ve been putting off re-enters your mind but hey, there’s always tomorrow!
Time to go home! You exit with all of the full-scale drama needed for a musical scene about the scary world out there. Ruffians, thugs, poison ivy, quick sand? You’ll take your chances.
Have a great Monday!
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